Fabulous and 40!

New decade. Milestone birthday. Next chapter of my life! With my littlest turning 3 – I finally feel “free”. Therefore, my motto this year is “40 and free” and it makes getting older not feel so bad. In fact, it feels quite liberating. I’m at the point I don’t need to worry about diapers, strollers and all that baby stuff. Although the trade off is now running after a crazy toddler…

Reflecting back on this past decade has been an eye opener. When I became pregnant with my first daughter I had no intention of not going back to work. I finished my MBA, had a job I loved and figured after a few months I would be back at the office. But then sometimes life does not go as planned. Something completely changed in me (in addition to those pesky hormones). After bringing this tiny human into this world – she became my everything. I became more aware of eating clean, harmful products and just plain paranoid. We didn’t trust anyone to watch her, thus I officially became a stay at home mom. If you asked any of my friends from college if they EVER thought I would have kids, let alone be a stay at home mom, they would’ve laughed in your face. Not gonna lie, I’ve never been a fan of kids. But everything changed when I became a mother. Being a good mother became my priority and my child’s needs became my priority. But as most moms know, it’s not all peaches and cream. I’ve been through 3 c-sections, postpartum depression and continue to battle anxiety. I try my best to be supermom but sometimes I fail miserably and just want to cry. But I will say this, being a parent has been the best thing – even with all the ups and downs. It has honestly made me a better person and challenges me everyday to do better. It made me grow up and look in the mirror. As parents we are now role models. We are shaping the lives of our children. They watch us like hawks and secretly record our actions. To be honest I was very resentful for years when I became a SAHM. I lost my identity. Everthing was about my girls. I didn’t take care of myself. I didn’t pay attention to my husband. I literally felt like Cinderella slaving away (still do). Then one day I realized it was a blessing. I was blind to not see the positive. I am so lucky to spend everyday with my girls (even when they drive me crazy) because one day they won’t want to hang out with me. One day I won’t be cool enough. One day I won’t get kisses and snuggles.

With my girls growing up (boo hoo), now it’s time to focus a tiny bit more on me and oh yeah my fourth child, my husband Papa Bear. My friends always ask me about what’s going on around Orange County, things to do, places to eat, etc., so I figured this could be my outlet to share my findings, make new friends and just see where this journey takes me.

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